09/20 2011
Posted in: Coaching, Servant Leadership
For the past few weeks I have been devoting a series of posts to the reasons why leaders do not coach. Why would I be looking for the negative you may be wondering. In order to get to the root cause of inspiring leaders to coach, I have to dig deep into finding out why they may not be coaching. Are your leaders truly driving change or does coaching seem to fall to the bottom of their list of priorities? The next reason we are exploring is when leaders tell you, “My employees don’t like it. I don’t want to do something that they don’t like.” Once again I would like to encourage you to refrain from passing judgment. Our role as leaders is to assist other leaders in seeing new potential and modeling other options for them to see that there is more than one lens through which to view a situation.
So if your leaders tell you they are not coaching because their employees do not like it, remember the most important behavior of a leader is to ask questions. So the first question that I would ask is, “Why do your employees not like to receive coaching?” There are several reasons why your employees may not like to receive coaching and all of these reasons for employees not liking coaching all fall back on the responsibility of the leader. So let’s take responsibility for our behaviors and see why our employees do not like to receive coaching.
- They feel picked on or singled out. If this is the way they feel, is it possible that you are only coaching the employees who are at the top of your “get rid of list”? I don’t like to be so blunt- but is that the case? If so, we need to balance our coaching so that everyone receives feedback, since we know that all of us have room for improvement.
- The employees view coaching as a negative thing. Are you sending the message that coaching is not a positive experience? What can you do differently to ensure that your employees see this experience as a learning opportunity? Examine your word choice. Are you telling them, “I’m here to evaluate you” or “I’m here to make sure you are doing everything right”? I encourage you to use the word choice of “I’m here to support you” or “I’m here to spend time with you to see if there is anything that I can do to help make your job easier”. See how that works for you.
- They feel like you are just checking off a box and do not see any value in coaching. So I am going to ask you as the leader- Are you just checking off the box and getting that task off of your list to get your manager off your back? If you do not view coaching as a meaningful and important part of your job, your employees will see that. Change your lens through which you view coaching.
- They feel nit picked. Again I have to ask, Are you nit picking them and not explaining why you want them to change certain behaviors? If your employees do not see the real value in changing their behaviors, they will not see the value in the coaching that you are delivering. Make sure that they REALLY understand the value and the importance of changing their behaviors based on what your suggestions are.
- They just roll their eyes when they see you coming. Do they trust you as their leader? The first step in acceptance of coaching is trusting in the leader. Have you earned their respect and their trust before you just jump in and start telling them what to do?
- And that brings me to the next point. Are you asking questions or just making statements? You may be surprised how far you will go with your coaching when you ask the right questions. In a previous post I reviewed the two most important behaviors involved in coaching- acknowledging and asking questions. Start your coaching by acknowledging what you see or hear (“I see that you are …”) and then follow up with a question (“Why are you doing it that way?”) Then keep acknowledging what they say and keep asking questions. You will find that the will develop trust in what you have to say, they will feel that you are collaborating with them and they will see the value in the partnership that they have with you.
So when your employees say that they don’t like coaching, remember that what they don’t like is tied to our leadership behaviors. A servant-leader is always looking inward first for deeper awareness of self in order to serve others in the best way possible. What can you do differently to better serve your employees with your coaching?
MOMENT OF REFLECTION
What can I do differently so that my employees will appreciate my coaching as a value to them?
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