10/5 2011
Posted in: Coaching, Communication Behaviors
Yesterday, I started a posting series on the communication behavior of acknowledging. As a leader, acknowledging is a vital behavior but one that is a bit more complicated than it first appears. Remember the goals that acknowledging is designed to accomplish:
- Show that you are listening
- Demonstrate your commitment to what the other person is asking or saying
- Createa higher levels of enthusiasm and engagement in the dialogue
- Emphasize your values
- Calm the person you are speaking with or reassure them of your invovlement and desire to help
That’s a big bill to fill for one communication behavior! Here are the typical challenges (opportunities for improvement) that I hear when leaders are acknowledging their employees.
- We acknowledge to show we are listening and that’s all. Just knodding your head or saying, “OK” “uh-huh” or “I see” is just not enough. There are four other goals that acknowledging needs to accomplish. Keep stretching your acknowledging skills.
- We fall into the trap of using the same acknowledging statement all the time and the most common one is “Absolutely”. Please be sure to grow your vocabulary to add other forms of acknowledging.
- Do not acknowledge just to show agreement. Sometimes our acknowledging statements send the message that we concur with what our employee has said. The most common form of acknowledging that does this is, “I see what you mean”. If an employee comes to you and complains about the company, it would be inappropriate as a leader to go along with this statement by saying, “I see what you mean”. (And be careful because you may have some employees that will use you as leverage in a later conversation when he/she exclaims, “And Kimberly agreed with me!”) Your role as a leader is to show you care about their concerns and provide them with an avenue of solutions, not a place to plop down in your office and simply gripe.
- We move into providing a solution without acknowledging their need and calming them down first. Remember, our role is also to use acknowleding as a tool to get our employees into an emotional place where they will be receptive to your information. If they come to you upset and you move immediately into a solution, their heart may not yet be open to your answers. You will then feel like you are repeating yourself over and over again with the same options. What you haven’t done is accomplish the goals of calming them down, reassuring them of your support and building confidence in your ability to help them.
- Acknowledging comes from your heart. When people ask me, “How did you get so good at acknowledging people?” my response is, “Because I genuinely care about leading them to a better place and my heart is what you hear speaking, not my mouth.” Open your heart before you open your mouth and you may be surprised at what comes out.
Acknowledging is an incredibly powerful communication tool and can be your best friend as a leader or it can also be your worst enemy. Focus on your behaviors as a leader so you can effectively drive the results you are looking for in your organization.
Come back tomorrow for some of my favorite acknowledging statements and how I use them effectively!
MOMENT OF REFLECTION
What does my acknowledging sound like? Have I fallen into any of these traps listed here? Do I have an open heart to learning new ways to acknowledge effectively?
<< The Value of Acknowledging to Communication My favorite acknowledging statements >>
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