11/8 2011
Posted in: Coaching, Communication Behaviors
A few days ago I started a series on what it takes to be a great coach. In order for you to be an effective coach it is critical that you are engaging. Engaging means that that you are connected to your employees and you are aware of them as well as aware of yourself. When you are engaging you are interested in what others have to say and you are looked to as someone who will listen and empathize with others. So what behaviors does it take to be engaging as a coach?
- Ask questions. This is the most critical behavior of an engaging coach. Remember to ask instead of tell. Before you tell someone what you think, ask others what they think. Ask others how they feel, what they think, what matters to them, how they think things would be easier for them and what their concerns are. They will feel that you value their ideas and care about their opinions. With the right questions you will also get others thinking outside the box and prompt them to come up with new ideas. Asking questions of others keeps others on their toes and keeps things from getting boring. If people are sitting around looking bored or disinterested in a meeting, stir things up by asking questions.
- Acknowledge what you hear from others. People like to feel validated and they like to know that you hear them and appreciate their input. Once you ask questions, instead of firing away with more questions, be sure to acknowledge the answers they gave you. Please see a prior post in which I gave some examples of acknowledging statements.
- Sometimes being engaging means not overlooking the little things. In order to be engaging, it is important that you are approachable. Let’s remember the small things like making eye contact, smiling and saying hello when we see someone. Our facial expressions need to invite people in, not turn them away and make others think that we do not want to talk with them.
- Follow through on what you say you are going to do. In order to prompt future engagement, people want to know that they can count on you. If you engaged with others and they needed something from you, make sure to complete the assignment and get them what they needed. Others need to know that they can count on you.
As all great leaders should know, we need to take a look at ourselves and see if we are meeting the needs of others. What do you see when you look at yourself as a leader? Do you see someone who is engaging? Or have you checked out and are just going through the motions?
Be sure to contact me if you want to know how I can help your organization through a journey of changing your leadership behaviors to create stronger coaches.
MOMENT OF REFLECTION
What can I do to be more engaging with others around me so that I can truly connect with them?
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